


Opportunities (Missed or Otherwise)

by inyron



Category: Joan of Arcadia
Genre: Yuletide 2004
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-12-23
Updated: 2004-12-23
Packaged: 2018-01-25 04:47:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1632368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inyron/pseuds/inyron
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just a little talk between two best friends. (Spoilers through "Dive.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Opportunities (Missed or Otherwise)

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Vixen

 

 

 _"He just started coming around. He always looks different. Sometimes he's a she. It's scary and...annoying. But the thing is, when I obey, things turn out okay._ -Joan, _Silence_.

Joan was staring at her half-painted nails, and trying to get the courage to go upstairs and talk to Grace when she heard the increasingly familiar sound of angry voices and stomping feet.

"Grace!" she squeaked loudly, not wanting to get up quickly, and spill the precariously balanced polish bottle all over her bed sheets. It worked, though. The stomping feet slowed down, and redirected themselves to Joan's room. "Hi," she smiled, as her scowling best friend appeared in her doorframe.

"What?" Grace had a surly look on her face, but it wasn't too surly, at least by Grace-standards. Joan sighed, and gestured towards the chair in the corner of her room.

"Sit. It's only seven o'clock. If you guys calm down and make up quickly, you'll still have plenty of time to work on that whachmacalit upstairs." Grace snorted, but sat herself down.

"It's your brother's fault, anyway," she grumbled.

"Uh-huh," Joan replied automatically. "You know, I don't recall you guys fighting over the science fair last year. At least not this much."

"He's becoming exponentially more annoying," Grace muttered. "Maybe we should be studying _that_ ," she said a little more loudly, as though Luke could overhear them, and be insulted by the little dig.

"So weird." Joan shook her head. "I mean, I've told you that, right? Aside from the fact that he's my little brother... he's _Luke_." She scrunched up her nose in disgust. Grace scowled out the window. Joan sighed and recapped the bottle. "So it sounds like everyone's having a bad Christmas break. I mean, I know I am."

"What's wrong?" Grace asked curiously. "I mean, aside from-" She broke off quickly.

"Judith?" Joan paused and took a breath. "Okay, now it feels kinda petty to say this, but on top of Judith and everything else, I have to worry about the fact that grades are coming out soon. Like, really soon. Like, I should go to bed early, and sneak down early tomorrow to lay in wait for the mailman."

"Dude," Grace said, and she looked serious now, but she wasn't scowling, and that was good. "Your parents aren't going to worry about your grades, not with everything else that's been going on. I mean, they're cool like that."

"You have no idea how bad my grades have gotten," Joan said, shaking her head. "Actually, I don't even know how bad they've gotten. I don't want to know. I'll probably burn the envelope unopened, after I steal it."

"It'll be fine," Grace tried again.

"It won't," Joan insisted. "I mean, even without... I just don't understand any of it. Not Physics, not French, not even stupid English."

"We'll work on it," Grace assured her. "After this stupid science fair project is done, we'll have a lot more time, and we can go back to studying together."

"How are you doing in Physics, anyway?" Joan asked with a pout.

"Not bad," Grace admitted.

"Not since you've been studying with Luke?"

"Actually, we never really get around to studying." Grace was smiling now, a little. Joan rolled her eyes. "I used to do really badly, back when it was chemistry. But my grades have really picked up since..."

"Since when?" Joan pressed.

"Since you transferred in," Grace admitted. "Look Girardi, you're not stupid. We'll get you through this. That's what friends- and stupidly smart siblings- are for."

"Yeah," Joan grumbled. "I still have to face my parents."

Grace started to offer another reassurance, but Joan's attention was suddenly pulled to her bedroom window. "What is it?" Grace asked as Joan peered out.

"Nothing," Joan replied. "I mean, I think I have to go downstairs for a minute. But I'll be right back. Just hold on, don't go anywhere, okay?" She was already rushing out of the room and downstairs.

But by the time she reached her front door, and pulled it open, there was no one out there. Certainly no one walking a large number of unruly dogs. Joan peered suspiciously up and down the street.

Finally, she went back in and closed the door. Her mother was looking at her somewhat bemusedly. "Is everything okay, honey?" she finally asked.

***  
 _"Come, take a walk with me, Joan," God asked._

Joan scowled and followed. "I'm missing lunch, you know," she told him. "Grace and Luke are already in there."

"Oh, let them have a little time to themselves," God replied. "They're a cute couple, aren't they?"

"Yuck," Joan said. "Yuck," she said again, as they passed a girl with black-painted fingernails who made eyes at the tall figure in black, as he casually made his way down the hallway. "This is getting kind of old."

"Merry Christmas," he told her, when they were outside by the track, in the cold air, and there was no one else around."

"Thanks," she said. "Um, shouldn't I be saying that to you? 'Happy Birthday,' or something?"

He raised a pierced eyebrow at that. "Not quite," he said, but he wasn't that unkind about it. "You have a holiday break from school coming up, Joan. It'll give you some extra time."

"So what do you want me to do?" Joan asked. She really hoped it wouldn't involve joining Christmas carolers, or making fruitcake, or something like that."

"I want you to have a talk with Grace," God told her.  
***

I brought Ritz crackers and Cheez Whiz," Joan announced when she arrived back upstairs.

"Is everything-"

"Everything's fine," Joan cut Grace off. "I just got kind of hungry."

Grace looked like she really wanted to argue the point, but instead accepted one of the bags of crackers from Joan, muttering something that sounded like "nuthouse" under her breath.

Joan pointedly ignored her, and filled one of her crackers up with the bright orange cheese-like substance, before passing the bottle over to Grace. "I was thinking we should have a Christmas party," she told Grace.

"We?" Grace asked.

"Yeah. Like the sub-defectives? But oh- no, I guess it shouldn't be for Christmas." She watched as Grace managed to fill up her cracker even more than Joan had. "Pass that back over." She accepted the bottle, and went to work on cracker number two. "Maybe, like, a Chrismukkah party."

"Chrismukkah?" Grace asked skeptically. "You've been watching bad teen soaps again, haven't you?"

"They're not bad," Joan huffed, "and I think it would be fun. Bag of chips and bottle of soda, that's all we need."

"No confetti guns?" Grace asked suspiciously.

"None at all," Joan assured her. "I just- I don't know. I want to have some fun." She stuffed her mouth with cracker two.

"Impressive," Grace laughed.

"Tynkoo."

"I guess we do have more time now," Grace admitted grudgingly. "'Cept you and Rove are going to be working through the holiday."

"At least Adam will get Christmas day off," Joan said wistfully. "God! When did we become such grown-ups? It's so lame."

"Luke and I remain slackers, job-wise, but this stupid project will take up the whole vacation. It's so annoying. At least there's a chance at monetary gain, if we win. And if I decide to go to college, because the scholarship's useless any other way."

"God, don't talk about college," Joan groaned.

"College as it is today is a recent, bourgeoisie invention anyway. People with diplomas get more money and opportunities, and it's just because they've demonstrated that they're upper-class enough, that they have enough time and money to waste, that they can put off the real world for years, and indulge themselves in a beer-soaked orgy of laziness and hive-thinking."

"Oh God," Joan groaned again. "You said that to Luke, didn't you. Is that what you guys are arguing about this time?"

"He's talking about his dream schools, and he's basing his decisions on prestige, and reputation, not on prospective the freethinking environment." Grace rebutted stiffly. "Anyway, no, that's not what we were arguing about, this time."

"Then what?" Joan asked carefully.

"It's hard, you know?" Grace said suddenly, after a moment's pause. "I mean, I can't really talk to you about this stuff. You're my best friend, and the only real... but he's you're brother, and it's weird."

"That's not true! We can totally talk about it," Joan lied nervously. I mean- um- like if you want to go out on a date, I can recommend some really good restaurants."

Grace smiled. "Remember," she asked softly, "when you wanted to give Adam a gift?"

Joan struggled to not put her hands in her ears, and sing "Deck the Halls" really loudly. "Yup. Good thing I didn't go through with it, huh?"

"So how far have you and Rove gone?" she asked.

"Not that far," Joan replied. "I ended up giving him a picture for the gift, did I tell you that? Except it was a special picture."

"So, second base? First?" Grace pressed.

"First," Joan admitted. "Feel free not to share your own," she added quickly.

"Nothing wrong with taking it slow," Grace said, staring intently at the floor. Joan decided not to notice the faint blush that lit up her cheeks.

"Yes," Joan said, overloud. "We should all take it slow. Because kissing, kissing is fine. And fun. And enough, really. We can all just sit around and kiss! And then we'll never have to have sex! At least not until you break up with my brother."

"Got it," Grace said, grinning outright at her now.

***  
 _"Talk with Grace?" Joan asked. "I can do that! I do that every day."_

"Yes," God interjected, "but I want you to talk to her about something specific."

Joan's eyes widened. "Is this about her mother?" she asked eagerly. "Am I going to, like, help her with that, or something?"

As usual, God didn't answer the question.  
***

"Grace," Joan said, then stopped.

"What?" Grace was stacking her crackers now, one on top of another, on top of another.

"Just- hear me out on this, okay? Let me finish." Joan spoke rapidly. "I know things must be rough at home, with your mom, I mean-"

"Girardi-"

"Just let me finish! I just wanted you to know, I'm here for you, okay? And I won't press you about it, not at all, and I'll never ever come over to your house uninvited again, unless you want me to. In which case you would invite me, I guess, and I promise not to care no matter what happens. I'm mean, I'll care about you, you're my best friend. I just won't care about... you know. So. However you want to play it. If you want to talk, we can talk, anytime, but if not, you'll never hear from me again about the subject. Okay?" Joan peered over at Grace, who had on the same expression she had when Joan returned with the Cheez Whiz. "So do you want to talk?" she asked hopefully.

"No," Grace replied shortly.

***  
 _Joan stared at God for a moment. "That's stupid," she announced. "Why can't I, like, make her mom stop drinking, or something?" God stared back. "All right, all right, I know the lecture," she sighed. "This is still stupid."_

"Merry Christmas," God said again.  
***

They were quiet for a few long moments. "I," Joan said, and Grace looked up quickly with a glare, daring her to go on. "went to Judith's grave finally," Joan continued. "I told her about you and Luke, actually. She would have thought that was crazy. And I, I said goodbye."

"That's good," Grace said uncomfortably.

"Yeah," Joan agreed. "I mean, it feels... like I can finally handle it, you know?"

"Yeah," Grace said, though Joan thought maybe she didn't.

"Adam's been really good," Joan said, plowing on. "He's really been there. I should- hey, you know, I didn't even get him a Christmas present yet? I should give him something really special." She glanced back over at Grace, who was fighting back a smile. Joan realized what she said, and snorted.

"Maybe a nice picture frame?" Grace asked, and the two girls smiled openly at each other.

"Yeah, well, what're you getting Luke?" Joan reached over and snatched the Cheez Whiz from the side table. "A full year's subscription to Scientifica Geekica?"

"Actually," Luke's slightly annoyed voice came from the bedroom door, "They changed the name. They figured they'd sell more if they didn't insult the readers."

Joan rolled her eyes at him as Grace stood up. "Ready to get back to work."

Luke regarded her quietly. "I figured out the problem with the lighting. That shouldn't be a problem anymore."

"Sounds like a yes," Grace concluded. "Come on, atom-boy, these scholarship checks don't write themselves."

"Good luck," Joan called after them.

She stared around her room for a few minutes after they were gone. Half of the crackers were uneaten, and her nail polish bottle had fallen to the ground.

"I know you work in mysterious ways," she told the room. "I just think I know my best friend better than you, right?" The room didn't answer. Joan grabbed the leftover crackers and the empty bottle, and headed downstairs to put them away. "Merry Christmas," she muttered to herself.

 


End file.
